Ita Buttrose claims that Millennials aren’t resilient; Buzzfeed’s Anne Helen Petersen seems to believe that we are the burnout generation because “We’re spoiled, entitled, lazy, and failures at what’s come to be known as “adulting,” a word invented by millennials as a catchall for the tasks of self-sufficient existence.” But in reality, we are none of those things. In reality, we are the generation that carries all the expectations of the generations that came before us but with more uncertainty, more pressure to perform, and more judgment when we don’t than any generation that has preceded us.

Millennial women, in particular, face more expectations than any other group in recent history because we were the generation that grew up with social media, which only projects the ultimate in ideals set for women in how we are meant to be. More and more often, I am regaled by stories of friends who are highly skilled professionals being unable to perform certain “normal” tasks like dropping off their clothes at the dry cleaners or mailing a birthday card on time. But it’s not because they are lazy. It’s because Millennial women constantly live in a state of hyperdrive — the mental clutter is never-ending because Millennial women were brought up to believe that unless they are birthing or working, they are neither useful nor productive members of society.